Life & Love

Dear E. Jean: Every woman has a celebrity crush. Well, I met mine, and he ruined my life. I’m not talking about some random drummer from a no-name band. I’m talking a big, bona fide A-list Hollywood celeb. We met accidentally, clicked, and began to see each other—casually, not in the public eye.

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We had the craziest, most electric chemistry—and the best sex ever. Ever. Unfortunately, the fairy tale came to an end after a couple of months. Just when I allowed myself to develop true, real feelings for him, he made it clear he was unavailable for a serious relationship.

He was the pinnacle, the dream, the one. I had him. It was amazing. I lost him. (I guess, to be honest, I never really had him to begin with, but you know what I mean.) So how am I supposed to get over him? Date someone new, someone normal? Who can compare? He was everything I ever wanted. I’ve had the best! Does this mean I have to settle for less? —Destroyed by Perfection

Destroyed, My Damsel: Phoo! Ninety-nine percent of what you believe about love is self-indulgent crap. You’ve “had the best”? Please. There are hundreds of young Hollywood fatheads out there to break your heart. Hell, there are only 23 square miles left in the United States where you can’t meet a chap who’s a celebrity.

So dry those tears. You look twice as good as you looked before you met him—love has animated you—and the best way to “get over him” is to lose your brain over someone new. And don’t tell Auntie Eeee you lack the spunk and imagination to fall in love again. Romance is like an endless retake—just with different chaps playing the lead. As Oscar Wilde’s Lord Henry said: “We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible.”

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at

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