Dear E. Jean: I’ve always been flat-chested, but I had a great figure with a good butt and legs. After giving birth to our baby daughter, I breast-fed and my boobs looked amazing!
Now, a year later, I’m back to normal weight, and I have no boobs at all. My husband always said, “Don’t worry, you can have them augmented,” but with the costs of educating our child, feeding her, and finishing my grad degree, we’ll never be able to afford the procedure. I enjoy my life, but I can’t avoid feeling ugly and unfixable. I know physical beauty is not everything, but how can I stop feeling bad about my breasts? —New Mommy on the Block
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My Dear Miss Block: Breasts are like movie stars. Those who want to be noticed are ignored, and those who want to be left alone are harassed. Show your cute, taut, sylphlike shape. Make tight sweaters and T-shirts your style. In a world of plastic and saline, the streamlined siren rules.
In other words, if you change the way you see your breasts, your breasts will change.
P.S. Not a philosopher? Girl, I can fix your boobs for free. Ready? Snap on a Miracle Bra. Good. We’re done. Now forget your bust. I promise you everybody else has.
This letter is from the E. Jean archive.